The greatest news text in the history of the world

Let me show you the single most brilliant news text that has ever been published:

(Reuters) – A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell’s Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer.

That bit of genius is from this news report. I don’t think I should have to say more. The text sort of says it all, don’t you think? If anyone can find anything that tops that collection of 36 magical words, let me know!